Does Mining for Fans Result in Stamas Bros Gold?
You may have heard about the Stamas Bros. Or maybe not. They are not very well known and to be frank, according to a recent Stamatakos Survey, they rank #3 of middle-aged Greek brothers who are online and share the last name “Stamas,” (which in its longer version is Stamatakos).
The Eye of the Tiger
But being #3 was not good enough for the Stamas Bros. They wanted at the very least to be #2.5. So Stamas Bro Homer and Stamas Bro Aristotle put getting that “.5” bump in their crosshairs by starting to do what they knew they had to do: build a strong fan club using as bait that members not only get an official Stamas Bros Fan Club card but they also get a notarized Stamas Bros Certificate which each bro will not only autograph once but will do so twice, plus to authenticate that these are actual Stamas Bros autographs, a notary will be present (fans must pay for notarizing and any other costs incurred such as shipping or getting a root beer).
But then their fan club hit an all-time low of having only two members (the Stamas Bros themselves were the two members) they pleaded with their mother and father to join. But mum and pops gave a big thumbs down. The reason they gave for not becoming Stamas Bros fans, was because when the brothers were just kids, they as parents were so consumed by their own narcissistic needs and desires, that they were incapable of being emotionally supportive of their two sons, so why start now?!
A Convention for Stamasites?
I could go on and on and on about the plight. But instead, I am going to put a link to their website (StamasBros.com) at the bottom of this post. The last time I saw the Stamas Bros in person was pre-Pandemic at Stamascon which is touted as the preeminent convention in the world for those with the last name Stamas. It usually takes place in one of those rehearsal room places in Manhattan, NY where you can practice your tap dancing. Though, because the room is designed for just one person rehearsing the art of making noise with their feet, it only fits 5 or 6 (or sometimes 7) folks. But attendance annually is usually only around 5 people.
Better than Stamascon?
It goes without saying that Stamascon is in direct competition with Stamoscon, the latter of which changes the “a” to an “o” so it is StamaOs versus StamAs. Stamoscon is way more popular than Stamascon because everyone who attends Stamoscon does so, not just because it is held in the large back room of Pappoús Restaurant, but also due to the fact that each year those attending have the secret hope that this could be the one that “you know who” makes an appearance. But he never does. Year after year after year the celebrity with the code name Jesse Katsopolis is a no show. He didn’t even attend the Stamoscon in 2020 that was virtual because of the Pandemic. This should have been a no brainer for him because joining in was as easy as logging into his device. He also would have saved a lot of money by not having to pay for a plane, hotel, food and so on.
A Theory About Why Blackie Parrish Doesn’t Attend Stamoscon
There is a theory about why he doesn’t attend the only convention in the world that has his last name in its title. The theory is that all along, year after year, we have been sending an invitation to the wrong address. We got it out of a celebrity address book that was already 20 years old when we got it, and we did get it second hand to boot. So maybe we should get a more updated celebrity address book? But I think the new one probably costs more than $10!